mom
They had me late in life so she was 50 when I was 13. She passed away at 92 on a beautiful June day in the best part of afternoon and looked beautiful. My mother was a very beautiful femme submissive woman. My father died when I was nine and my brothers and sisters left home. On hearing of my father's death my immediate concern was my mother. I protected her . She protected me. She accepted my choices in boys clothing and shoes and never tried to talk me out of who I am. She was the different one in her family. I too went through a long period where I could not hug my mom. It felt wierd because I think I became the man of the family because my older brothers were out sewing oats. Anyway I had to do some therapy around it all as I felt her neediness and it scared me...like I couldnt do anything about it tho I felt pressured to do so. Deep stuff butches and their moms. Boys and their moms. And....I love how we were the last five years. All the past diminished and replaced with super affection and joy. Joy at making her old age precious and rich and tangible and complete. Sweet. Thank-you. I learned alot just now.
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"Love the questions"
...Rainier Marie Rilke...Letters to a young poet
Che
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