[Martina]

After the TERF thread, I feel more able to respond here. I have no idea what it's like to be trans. I have no stake in telling trans folk that they have been socialized as the gender they were assigned at birth. It seems likely they were socialized to some degree, even if it almost constantly did not ring true, via being given certain toys and clothes etc. I think it's wonderful that more parents are letting their kids wear wear whatever they want, play with whatever they want. And little kids are so accepting of difference.

Think of the discouragement boys get after a certain age when they show their feelings. I assume that transmen did not receive as much of that and are therefore a little more emotionally healthy than the average man. But maybe some internalized that message anyway.

It's got to depend a lot on the individual child. I have to say, even as a cisperson, I often identified with the boys in books because they had more fun and the girls were so insipid (I am old).

It really is individual. I know lots of men who grew up in larger families whose maternal instincts exceed mine. They grew up looking after siblings. It's second nature for them to pick up a kid and talk to them. When someone hands me a baby, I panic a little.

My dad fished a lot. I went out on the boat with him, and I sometimes fished. Had I been a boy, I am sure it would have been expected of me to really learn about the boat and about fishing. I regret that I didn't. I am sure if I had expressed more interest, my dad would have taught me. But I liked cruising around, looking at nature, reading my book. But if I had been a son, I think if I had made those choices, I would have disappointed my dad.

My mom said on occasion that she was glad I wasn't a boy because my dad, a college athlete, would have required I play sports and mom would have worried about injuries. I am not very coordinated.