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imperfect_cupcake · 07-29-2018, 09:55 PM

I've been thinking about this because I'm putting a big toe back in the dating pool after years away.

I've come to grips being a demiromantic and that it is not what other people really understand or share.

I don't get crushes on people I don't know well. So I'm not going to get butterflys and act goofy over someone I don't know.

I'm a sapiophile as well. I'm not going to go stupid over the way someone looks. Nor am I going to get vulgar over some butches muscles. I mean, I'll think they are *nice*. But I'm never going to throw my panties at them or dribble on them.

I grow in love with people, I don't fall in love with people. I still get there. But not the way most people want, and not in the time frame most people want. Roses and chocolates are lost on me. I don't really get traditional romance stuff.

I get the romance of true friendship. *Really* knowing someone and loving them for the way they climb a tree. Or pour a cup or tea for you. Or how they only eat slightly green bananas. I love the romance of real friendship and how organic that is, that you can't say "oh first you do this, and then you do that, and then, it goes this way."

The is no code, no formula, no ritual to it. It just happens because it does, because you enjoy each other and you allow each other to be who you are.

And because I'm a demiromantic, sex does not make me feel more attached to someone. Or less. Unless its continual sex added to the mix of continual friendship that just keeps organically making its way to a stronger bond.

However, I know that pretty much leaves me out of the 45+ crowd in the USA of butch-femme. Its a good thing I'm in Canada. It mostly leaves me out of the loop here though, as well in my age group.

People 35 and under get this. But they are too young for me.

people put romance before friendship and I can't do that. I can put sex before friendship or romance. But romance does not go before friendship in my universe. I will have a fun shag with someone who's company I enjoy as a human being, but I will not hold their hand having ice cream until I know them as a proper friend first. and I don't mean "oh I met you 4 times" kind of friend. A *proper* friend.

07-29-2018, 09:55 PM	#229
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I've been thinking about this because I'm putting a big toe back in the dating pool after years away. I've come to grips being a demiromantic and that it is not what other people really understand or share. I don't get crushes on people I don't know well. So I'm not going to get butterflys and act goofy over someone I don't know. I'm a sapiophile as well. I'm not going to go stupid over the way someone looks. Nor am I going to get vulgar over some butches muscles. I mean, I'll think they are nice. But I'm never going to throw my panties at them or dribble on them. I grow in love with people, I don't fall in love with people. I still get there. But not the way most people want, and not in the time frame most people want. Roses and chocolates are lost on me. I don't really get traditional romance stuff. I get the romance of true friendship. Really knowing someone and loving them for the way they climb a tree. Or pour a cup or tea for you. Or how they only eat slightly green bananas. I love the romance of real friendship and how organic that is, that you can't say "oh first you do this, and then you do that, and then, it goes this way." The is no code, no formula, no ritual to it. It just happens because it does, because you enjoy each other and you allow each other to be who you are. And because I'm a demiromantic, sex does not make me feel more attached to someone. Or less. Unless its continual sex added to the mix of continual friendship that just keeps organically making its way to a stronger bond. However, I know that pretty much leaves me out of the 45+ crowd in the USA of butch-femme. Its a good thing I'm in Canada. It mostly leaves me out of the loop here though, as well in my age group. People 35 and under get this. But they are too young for me. people put romance before friendship and I can't do that. I can put sex before friendship or romance. But romance does not go before friendship in my universe. I will have a fun shag with someone who's company I enjoy as a human being, but I will not hold their hand having ice cream until I know them as a proper friend first. and I don't mean "oh I met you 4 times" kind of friend. A proper friend.