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Old 03-15-2010, 09:45 PM   #279
friskyfemme
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Originally Posted by Amelia View Post
Exactly! I barely see my family because I cut those dysfunctional expectations out of my life. I am still in the feel selfish stage. I know in my head that I am doing what I need to do by avoiding them... but it takes longer to UNDO that "role" than it took for them to lock me into it. Holidays are harder even though I thought it was going to make it easier. I should have expected them to be healthier... rather than easier.

Seems less selfish to think I am doing this for their good also. An enabler I was letting them continue to harm themselves and that helps me every day to think its not just "for me". I also have two teens who have been catching on for a few years... and getting angry in my defense. I think of doing what is right as a role model for my two and my four nephews. I dont want them to be dragged into it and influenced. I dont want the cycle to infect our next generation growing up.

The buck stops here...
It is a big move. I totally relate to where you're coming from. I had to let my family catch up with where I was coming from. IT took many years. But my motivation was definitely to break he cycle for my kids and nieces and nephews. I can see that healing in their children. So even though I still ride the waves of dysfunction I feel like I was able to do some good for my family. Blessings to you.
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