[Gemme]

I started getting earnest again with regular exercise and eating better a few weeks ago. Just after my birthday, actually. There's nothing like another candle in your cupcake to make you start thinking about things, right?

There's a certain amount of leeway we have to give ourselves. Most of us have full time jobs and/or other commitments that make devoting time to plan healthy meals and time to go to the gym/for a walk/run, etc very difficult. The last time I began, seriously, a workout regimine and put more thought into what went into my mouth (and tended to stick around a little farther South) I had recently moved from WA to TX and was....temporarily.....unemployed. Granted, I spent a certain amount of the day online doing applications and making calls and going to interviews, but for the most part, I had all the time in the world.

And I made it count.

I dropped 40 lbs and looked and felt better and was happier.

Then I got a physically demanding full time job and I couldn't go to the gym every day and spend 1-3 hours there.

The exercise petered off to nothing and my eating eventually went back to whatever I craved at that moment instead of what my body needed.

So, I've been easing back into it and trying to be more forgiving towards myself. I don't go to the gym every day. I can't. I would burn out and then nothing would get accomplished. I do try to make the time that I am able to devote to the gym count. I don't dawdle too much and I do push myself every time, depending on what I can give that day. Some days, I am on fire and run as if my life depended on it (for brief periods of time, but you know what I mean) and some days it's a victory just to show up and walk for half an hour at a 'normal' pace.

I am the tortoise.

First, the tortoise. Then the hare. Then the eagle.

Center myself and find my path. Check.
Learn how to walk it. In progress.
Learn how to run it. Soon.
Learn how to soar above it. When the time is right.

Yesterday, I just didn't feel up to it. I have a couple of very minor injuries that make running uncomfortable. I could have still gone and walked the treadmill or walked around the neighborhood, but I didn't. Today I had to cut my workout short due to an appointment, but I pushed myself the hardest I could in the time that I had.

I win some, I hold steady sometimes and sometimes I fall behind a little. Ideally, it all comes out in the wash.

I think my main motivation is that I am still trying and things are starting to click into place. Even though I may have eaten something I "shouldn't" have (meaning that moderation is a nifty idea, but only if it's put into practice) or I skip a workout when there's not a medical reason for doing so, I still try. Less soda and more water. Less meat and more beans. More veggies and less pre-packaged junk. More grilled and sauted and less fried. More workouts and less excuses.

I've started to see results and that's always exciting.

I am the tortoise and I'm okay with that.

For now.