[The_Lady_Snow]

I went to an event once, as I walked in the elevator I stepped in front of 2 butch/femme couples, I did not know them, personally, I knew their names, but had never had any kind of r/t experience till that very day. I smiled and said hello and introduced myself to one couple, as I extended my had I noticed couple on the right, the femme was clasping her partners arm like she was in terror, she pulled him slightly away from me as he extended his hand to shake mine. I pulled back right away, and turned to the other couple, they too had the same look, though the femme partner did address me saying," yeah we know you", I turned my back to them and faced the doors, both women whispering to one another, how I was known for *flipping* good butches and having several sex partners at once, and then a comment about how I had no regards to even those who are partnered.

Another time, I went on a date, with a butch, she had heard I was poly, as she walked me to the car I went to hug her, she slammed me up against the car, and tried to kiss me, I pushed her off and asked wtf she was thinking. Her response, "don't be so coy, you're into that leather shit, what's a lil rough out in the parking lot?"

Then there was the time I went out with my then husband, we did a poker run, as I sat at the Dew Drop, a couple came up to me, they wanted to know if I was up for a quick switcharoo in the back of the bar, see they assumed because I was in a poly relationship with my husband, that I was interested in quick rolls in the back of bars.

I am a masculine/feminine Leather Femme Daddy. I am leather first, since that is what is mostly engrained to me, that comes with me being very sexually open, I have no issues using words such as cunt, vagina, pussy, penis, dick, cock, ass, etc etc. I am very sexually fluid, I don't care about gender I will fuck, boys, guys, FTM's, bois, girls, butches, be they masculine, female, transgendered identified or what have you. What that DOES mean is I don't fuck ALL of them at one time, or that I think they are all mine, OR that I am after your man. I am not shy about sexual talk, topics, conversations and anything else sexual. I am a firm believer that a good fuck is that a GOOD fuck and that everyone should participate in a good orgasm at least 4 times a week.. I know I will.

As a Femme, for me it has been a slow and wonderful evolution, I have found and embraced my femininity 100% and that was a slow and painful process because of the above, I did not fit into a mold that kept being shoved down my throat. In the beginning how I am now and have been was not *femme* enough. You see the idea of femme that kept being presented to me was that of soft spoken, submissive, fluffy and giggly. I found this to be confusing since the *few* femme's I did know personally were nothing like this, even if they were in a D/s enviroment, these femme's were power and did not fit this more how do I describe this, *stepford* kind of femme. It took years for me to watch, learn, get to know, and accept all kinds of femme's even though some not all would me. In my experience we as femme's are a lil more vicious when it comes to the hierarchy of femme when we decide to attack one another we tend to do it and go for the jugular, coming in forms of, innuendos, rumors, and attacks on our moral character if one is more sexual than the other.

I am a Daddy, and I ooze masculinity in my everyday life, I am very much an reflection of my Mentors, the men, dykes, butches in my life. I tend to think alot more like a guy, like more male perceived oriented things and probably have more male presenting, id'd born friends than anything else. I am Master, Sir, Daddy and Papa to the boys, and Cassandra. I strap, so I put this example here since *cocks* are more male prone then they are female prone according to the assumptions of both online, straight and b/f standards. I don't have any rules, I don't have any gender expectations and I don't assign man as default to my butch counterparts. I own 2 boys who are self made men, they are my property I am their Sir.

I don't know where I fit on the scale of Femme, I know I am one, I know that no matter who tries to tell me it's not. I am a Power Femme, my power comes from within, it's a natural part of my dominance. I don't subscribe that because I am this that anyone is lower in the femme status. Femme is femme it's not a scale of low and high, it's my gender, and I don't see gender as something you can put a scaled value, it should have *value* period, not fucking degrees of it.

This will be a great thread if we can all come from our Femme experience and without a *set* of guidelines on what femme is, because honestly what I have learned that within our Queerdom is we are so fluid all of us in gender that it evolves every day, and instead of doing the better than thou thing, we should celebrate that maybe one day gender isn't just about the F or the M we are assigned, and that it's perfectly fine to live out of the binary and for fucks sakes that EVERYONE should fuck till they are sweaty, cotton mouthed, and a lil bloodied if that so pleased you!!!