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Old 01-18-2012, 11:29 AM   #2
genghisfawn
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Femme/Gentlewoman
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She/her
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Happily married 05/17/14
 
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Default Tiny rant...

I am very much looking for The Right One.

But...

... sometimes I get the feeling that many older butches would pass me over simply because I'm under 30. Some of the more honest ones have asked me:

"What if you wanted kids someday? I feel too old to be a new parent."
"Don't you want someone closer to your age?"
"What about when I'm retired and you're still working?"
"What if I die and you're widowed at 40?"
and the worst...
"Do you have Daddy issues?"

*facepalm*

So... if I wanted kids someday I probably would already have some. That's just me. If I want something, I work to achieve it - this is generally accepted as a sign of emotional maturity and an ambitious nature. I know how babies are made. If I wanted them that badly, I'd already have gone and made some, and I haven't done that. That said, if you want to start a family someday, I've always felt it would be an excellent experience... and babies freaking love me because I'm well-versed in nonsense, cuddling and drop-the-hankie. Done.

And... I am attracted to a person, not hys age. Most of my relationships have been with people much older than me, and it's just worked out that way. No reason other than that there was mutual attraction, etc.

If you're retired and I'm still working, I guess that's the way it's going to be. You deserve to retire if that's where you are - you've worked your time and now it's time for you to enjoy life as a retiree. I'm a savvy planner, and I hope you are too so that if you're retired, we'll have planned for this and perhaps I can go to part-time and spend some of that time with you as well. Or, if not, that you'll fill your retirement wisely with hobbies, friends, solo travel... whatever you want... and we continue as normal. Not a bother. I like working and I'll get my reward of retirement when it's my time, too.

What if I die first, eh? I could fall under a bus tomorrow. If we marry when I'm 30 and you're 50, you could be widowed at 51 just as easily. Next question.

I don't have Daddy issues. My father was very loving and caring when I was growing up, and though we had issues in my teen years (due to my coming out, a difference in politics and his divorce from my mother,) we have mended everything and we have a great, close relationship. I also had my grandfathers very near until I reached adulthood, I still have loving uncles and I have strong, assured and gentle male friends. I don't need a replacement father. That's not what this is about. I want a butch who will be my partner, my best friend, my lover and my precious. My mother and father raised me to completion and I am my own flawed person, completely housebroken and secure in my skin, heart and mind - you do not need to raise me.

Although doing the dishes when I'm feeling ill and not giving me bumph about not doing it when I'm sick would be just lovely, honey.

What are your issues/complaints/rants/raves/delights of seeking your sweetheart, or just in relating to other people in the B-F community?
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