[Converse]

I often see when reading the threads, comments from people who say that they are living in a place that has no community. And these comments often include expressions of feeling isolated. And it made me wonder- just how important is having r/t community?

I know for me it has been extremely important, to the extent, that from early teenage years I left home and family in the pursuit of being in a place where, as a Butch, I would be surrounded by the familiar.

All through my adult life it has been the over-riding factor when deciding where to settle, and even when considering job offers/opportunities, access to community was always the final determiner.

But I wonder does that “need” change over time, as we mature, as our priorities change? I know for me it did. When I had to make a decision to leave being in the midst of large and active Butch-Femme Community to be with the woman I loved, I worried about leaving what I had known since those early teenage years.

But I shouldn’t have worried- I don’t hanker to be surrounded/submerged by the community as I once did. I feel comfortable and confident enough with who I am without having to be somewhere that is familiar, or in a place where str8 is the anomaly. In fact I’m quiet enjoying not blending in anymore.

Have others gone through this- changed geography, what impact has being with/without r/t community had on you? Are there certain times in our lives when it’s more important than others? Is it important, if so, why?