[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by ruby_woo

I definitely feel everyone on the femme invisibility issue- unless I'm seen with my butch partner, I know I'm assumed to be something I'm not until I tell that person otherwise.

That said, in the 11 years I've been ID'ing as femme, I can't recall anyone ever telling me I can't be a dyke, you're too girly, you must also date men, etc. Sure, they were surprised when I first told them, but pretty much it ended there.

I know this happens, I've heard about it from femmes here and on other sites, I just wonder if I got lucky or something?

I have never had anyone tell me I must date men. Parents came close to a few "shoulds". I have had straight guys tell me I didn't "look like" a lesbian, guess because I am femme and I have had straight women be surprised.

I did give some laughs to a couple of butches at the door of an old lesbian bar called The Happy Hour during the late 70's when I came out, when the majority of lesbians were in a more androgynous phase, than femme. I showed up dressed in full femme and they acted like I took a wrong turn on the freeway but that was the only time lesbians ever acted like that towards me.