Thank you for this thread...it is actually something I have been giving quite a bit of thought lately.
The relevant parts of my standard self-ID (long version upon request
are:
Queer Leather Femme
Queer: I find 'queer' to be more expressive and encompassing of the way I live my life, and more aspects of my life than just my sexuality. "Lesbian" never sat right with me.
Leather: My leatherwalk is an integral part of how I live my life, and with whom.
Femme: I am comfortable with my assigned gender, although I'm certainly not High Holy Femme - don't have the stamina nor the inclination. I'm a feminine, low-maintenance femme. And I don't pay too much attention to the artificial boundaries between gender roles, although I do tend by nature to stay more on the 'feminine' side of the equation.
The word I'm mulling over adding is Stone. (Queer Leather Stone Femme). I've been reading and doing research, and there is apparently a lot of debate over definition. Plus, I've been slammed in previous relationships many times over how my sexuality works, so there's a lot of pain and 'un-learning' to deal with. But what I've learned so far goes a long way to explain things...and explain them a LOT. Too bad it took me so long (I'm 50) to look into it....
Anyway, great question, and thanks for posting it.