[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by TruTexan

you know, from my perspective, sometimes I need to be protected from myself cause I could get myself in a whole buncha trouble stepping up to someone. I wouldn't mind if a femme talked me down and away from a situation like that, and handled it on her terms in a different manner. Nothing wrong with a femme protecting me too. I know I"d protect my femme as best I could for sure. Hell I'd take a beating if someone tried to harm my gf/wife, if we couldn't ignore the situation going on or walk away. I'm very innately protective. It's in my blood.

I personally think it's in a lot of our "blood". I don't think the butch folk have any more protection blood in them than we (femmes) do. If someone is being mean (verbally) to anyone i'm with, friend, family, partner, hell a stranger for that matter, i most likely could not keep my mouth shut and certainly haven't in the past. So, it is the act of being disrespected that boils my blood.

I've said stuff when i've been out with a butch and they get remarks thrown at them in the restrooms etc. I've lost my cool even at crossed looks with someone i've been with. Maybe not the smartest moves i've ever made. But, it happens. I bet the number is relatively high for those of us that do speak up. But, it also has to do with timing and safety and logic. I wouldn't be as quick to open my mouth if i was in an unsafe place vs. a restaurant for example.

I agree with you about sometimes stepping up to help our partner back down is a good idea as well. I can see myself doing that with my partner, if i was being disrespected and vise versa.

It really works both ways. The old saying "pick your battles" comes to mind. Think about the situation "you" are in, is it worth the trouble and most importantly is it safe. And whether or not femmes or butches stand up to ignorance in a setting where any of us are being harassed it does not diminish, at least in my eyes, our devotion to our community or to each other.

....because 99% of the time it is not going to change anyone's opinion of "us" it will just escalate things to who knows where.

And i am talking about verbal here, not physical. Physical is a WHOLE other ballgame.