[dark_crystal]

When i first recovered from anorexia i gained significant weight (almost 1/3 of my total weight). I absolutely felt obligated to start making more of an effort with my face/hair/wardrobe/accessories.

Having the experience of having been in a very small body and then a larger body both in the same year was extremely revealing to me in terms of how pervasive body-shaming really is and how powerful thinness is.

Our society believes 100% that fat is the worst thing a woman can be, and sees anyone who can be fit into that category as dismissible.

Online dudes always fall back on body-shaming eventually any time they argue with women online-- because it is the ultimate indictment in our society.

If you can make "fat" stick it does not matter that you were just getting your ass handed to you buy a PhD when you thought you could mansplain her field to her-- and you don't even actually have to be fat, just the slightest imperfection is enough.

Let your thighs touch just slightly and any authority you have can be ignored

Its like maintaining thinness is women's threshold for minimum achievement-- the foundation you must put under everything else you do, and society would like to see you take care of that before you come bothering them wanting to try anything else, and doesn't mind if you sideline yourself for decades while you solve that little problem for them. Whatever it takes-- postpone your whole life! An all-consuming focus on this is lauded and encouraged.

When we try to move forward without first securing that compliant size, the resistance is so fierce that you try to compensate by being beyond reproach in all other areas. Extreme femininity is absolutely one way to do this.

A lack of gender compliance is society's second-favorite thing to weaponize against us, anyway-- probably more than body compliance was, until recently. If you don't have one you're not going to get away with lacking the other, too.