[Gemme]

Originally Posted by adorable

I have been thinking about this for the last few days. Sometimes I think, we think we know - but do we really? Can we actually say or explain our needs to another person?

What makes YOU feel secure and loved?

Is it a way that someone talks to you? That they pay attention to how you feel and are in tune with your emotions? Do they make you feel interesting and special? Is it being able to say nothing and just "be" with that person?

Or is it in gestures? Flowers, breakfast in bed? Notes on the pillow?

Is it routine? Coming home every Friday and knowing that Friday is always pizza night? Making the bed together every morning? Sunday is cleaning day?

What do you need to feel loved the way that you need to be loved?

This is a great conversation topic for a thread!

For those that have partnered with me....the bad, the good, the indifferent...I do have to give them props because life with me is not easy. The things that I require to feel secure change as the tides of change come and go. Most of the time, I can articulate what I need, but there have been times where I was at a loss as to what I needed and that, of course, left them floundering too.

Most of the time, I need affection and attention but not so much that I feel stifled and/or smothered. I need an open ear and a spare shoulder for when I have a bad day or situation in my life. I need you to 'fix' my problems only when/if I ask you to.

I have my romantic days but I'm not a big flower-receiver. I prefer them living and in the ground. It has always seemed a bit off to me to give someone a gift that is dying a little bit every time you touch it.

I do like dinners out and seeing shows but I think those things are more maintenance than what makes me feel special and loved and secure. It's the behind the scenes action that accomplishes that.

Someone mentioned gardens and plants. Every plant requires a different amount of light (attention), a different kind of food (nurturing), a different kind of soil and a different area to plant in. I don't do well in frigid and dreary weather. Over time, I shrivel up and inward and I don't let people in. That can make a relationship very difficult. So, for me, this is a very relevant analogy.