[Soft*Silver]

I guess one of the reasons I am not in a romantic relationship is that when I have tried, I tended to compare the person I was with, with the people I had been with. Akwardly, I felt the way I could feel I was loved, was that they wouldnt do to me what the past ones did to me. Therefore, I set it up for the people who got involved with me to always have to strive to undo what the others had done to me to make me feel loved by them. Wow. Did that work? Hell no!

Well, I dont do that now. Now when I am going to be in love, I will feel love because I am lovedby what they have to offer, not because I someone has to whittle off a piece of a hard feeling from me....thats MY work to, not theirs. And I am doing it now, before I even try a romance again.

But I do feel loved by people now. I feel loved by them cheering me on and supporting me and giving me room to grow and standing by me thru all the changes I go thru. And they like the fact that I am getting stronger on my own, not out of them. I have great friends. They could have made this alot easier on me, taken over and just made a life for me. Instead, they let me make a life for myself. I love them for that. I am coming out of a very dark two year period. But what is there for me, is Me. Now thats how I know I am loved....