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imperfect_cupcake · 02-28-2016, 05:22 PM

Pass off rudeness and cruelty with statements like "I'm just saying it as it is; I just have strong opinions, and I have a right to them."

1) you can be blunt without being nasty or a bigot. For instance, a friend just asked me if I would please please please massage today? For his kid? His kid is recouperating from a cold and knows a massage would help and he really want to try what massage therapy is like. Blunt and respectful: no, as much as I'd really love to introduce someone to massage, especially your kid

, I am exhausted. I need down time today. I need to be rested for my studying and exams next week."
"I will pay you extra!"
"That's a kind offer but I can't take the extra money anyway. But the thought is kind. I have to rest up."

Blunt without being an asshole: " I'm sorry, I understand you have views on sex workers, but since I am an ex sex worker, I would like to have a pleasant meal with our friends without getting in into an argument. I'd prefer if we switched to another subject."

2) many of us have strong opinions. Emotional Intelligence lets us know when the right time and right way to express them. Talking about your views about anti-marriage, is really not appropriate at a wedding ceremony, for example, or when your friends announce an engagement. That's when you understand that

3) your "right" to having an opinion means sometimes you shut the fuck up and listen to other people's. I don't speak in POC spaces. I don't speak, unless asked, in genderqueer spaces. I don't speak in First Nation spaces. I don't speak in disability spaces (unless they are talking about dyslexia). Those are the times I shut the fuck up and listen.

Also, just because you have an opinion does not mean you are entitled to voice it. I'm not in the states. We don't have a freedom of speech law. We have anti-hate laws. That means if you express an opinion in public areas that encourage people to harm others "gays should be excecuted" or "it should be legal to rape women on pvt property" that's against the law. So you may have an opinion, but if it's considered encouraging others to harm people, you best shut up about it unless you are in your car or house if you are on a Canuck website, a U.K. Website (same law) or in either of those countries.

Also your freedom of opinion does not mean that others cannot ask you to leave or shut up if they don't like it. If you are in a privately owned space, the person can ask you to leave rather than to hear your views. The American law of freedom of speech means you won't be brought up on charges for expressing your views in a public space. It doesn't mean everyone else has to listen to it or not respond to it. If you make your opinion known, in public, someone *can* respond to it and tell you just what they think of it, or what parts of your opinion are logically unsound or invalid.

02-28-2016, 05:22 PM	#5
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Pass off rudeness and cruelty with statements like "I'm just saying it as it is; I just have strong opinions, and I have a right to them." 1) you can be blunt without being nasty or a bigot. For instance, a friend just asked me if I would please please please massage today? For his kid? His kid is recouperating from a cold and knows a massage would help and he really want to try what massage therapy is like. Blunt and respectful: no, as much as I'd really love to introduce someone to massage, especially your kid , I am exhausted. I need down time today. I need to be rested for my studying and exams next week." "I will pay you extra!" "That's a kind offer but I can't take the extra money anyway. But the thought is kind. I have to rest up." Blunt without being an asshole: " I'm sorry, I understand you have views on sex workers, but since I am an ex sex worker, I would like to have a pleasant meal with our friends without getting in into an argument. I'd prefer if we switched to another subject." 2) many of us have strong opinions. Emotional Intelligence lets us know when the right time and right way to express them. Talking about your views about anti-marriage, is really not appropriate at a wedding ceremony, for example, or when your friends announce an engagement. That's when you understand that 3) your "right" to having an opinion means sometimes you shut the fuck up and listen to other people's. I don't speak in POC spaces. I don't speak, unless asked, in genderqueer spaces. I don't speak in First Nation spaces. I don't speak in disability spaces (unless they are talking about dyslexia). Those are the times I shut the fuck up and listen. Also, just because you have an opinion does not mean you are entitled to voice it. I'm not in the states. We don't have a freedom of speech law. We have anti-hate laws. That means if you express an opinion in public areas that encourage people to harm others "gays should be excecuted" or "it should be legal to rape women on pvt property" that's against the law. So you may have an opinion, but if it's considered encouraging others to harm people, you best shut up about it unless you are in your car or house if you are on a Canuck website, a U.K. Website (same law) or in either of those countries. Also your freedom of opinion does not mean that others cannot ask you to leave or shut up if they don't like it. If you are in a privately owned space, the person can ask you to leave rather than to hear your views. The American law of freedom of speech means you won't be brought up on charges for expressing your views in a public space. It doesn't mean everyone else has to listen to it or not respond to it. If you make your opinion known, in public, someone can respond to it and tell you just what they think of it, or what parts of your opinion are logically unsound or invalid.