[Julie]

I am really struggling with this. I am so happy Starbuck that you were able to find love in your new girlfriend - but a part (okay a huge part) of me cannot understand the cheating and betrayal you are doing to a man who is committed to you. I would say the same thing to someone on this board who was cheating on their partner.

It's cheating. Bottom line, it is cheating. These men who you say are honorable men and love you - They deserve the same respect. I mean you say with such sureness, he would never cheat on you, because you are married. How does this not break your heart? Every time you touch your girlfriend, how does this act of cheating, not break your heart?

And in front of these two men, you carry on a charade.

The only thing which can come out of this is HURT. One day they will find out, and the hurt which will be felt will be great, and you will be the bearer of this hurt.

I am sorry if I have offended... You brought your relationship(s) to the forefront with an openness and in doing so, you are giving us an opportunity to respond. I am just sad by this. Nobody deserves to be betrayed.

Why can't you just be honest and leave them? Love for another and take the risk that loving takes. Or try and work out an open relationship - something, that involves some form of honesty.

Sorry... This whole thing really makes me very sad for those men.

Julie