[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Martina

Well, I think you ought to know what you want and what you can and can't put up with. What's the value of all this experience if it isn't to learn from and prevent yourself from wasting time and hurting yours and others' feelings?

Indeed, it behooves one to know oneself well.

Sometimes, it also behooves one to take a step back and ponder. Sometimes, some things we dislike is likeable with the right person. Sometimes, what we like can be horrific with the wrong person.

Sometimes we might need to think about whether we are seeking a real, live, imperfect human being, or if we are seeking an inanimate cardboard cut out of <insertpreferencehere> embedded in our fantasies.

And, I appreciate you raising this existential concept without rearranging my parts. I can see I am still growing on you and have graduated from "like mold on wet sheet rock", to "a mere allergen tickling your nose".