Quote:
Originally Posted by nycfem
MESSAGE FROM MODS:
There have been a number of reported posts from this thread. Warning signs of an abusive relationship is an important issue and does sometimes come up more around the holidays which are a stressful time for many. Because it's a stressful time for many of us and a heated topic in general, let's all make an effort to state our opinions respectfully and stick to the topic. Also, please do not post in a specific way about someone on the site. This doesn't mean you can't post on this thread if you have an abusive ex on the site. After all, sometimes we end up in a pattern of abusive relationships, so it wouldn't be fair to tell people who have dated anyone on this site who they deem to have been abusive not to post. Just use some judgment in not posting about a specific person and the specific experiences with that person and instead focus on your own experience in general in relation to warning signs of abuse.
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Thank you very much for this. I think it's very important that I clarify that this post is not some thinly-veiled attempt to "call out" the ex that I used as an example. That person is not on this board. If this person was, I would not be here and I would not be opening this topic up for discussion. This thread also has nothing to do with requesting sympathy from anyone for what I've been through. My only intention (for those of who are familiar with my threads, I use this word a lot) was to start a discussion among survivors who might be able to help others through either the process of recovery or the prevention of a possibly unsafe relationship by understanding red flags and warning signs before the relationship progresses.
Considering may people also engage in long-distance relationships (myself included) understanding the warning signs before uprooting your life and moving in with someone (or having that person move in with you) could potentially save a lot of money, heartbreak, time, energy, and maybe even a life.
I really would like this to be a healthy, open discussion from here on in.