[Surayna]

Thanks for this thread!

I broke ties with my father at my grandmothers funeral just over 5 years ago.

I've limited the ties with my mother since her suicide attempt just over 3 years ago.

My story kind of fits between this thread and the adoption thread. While I wasn't adopted, I was placed for adoption at age 3. My parents backed out because my fathers parents wanted to be the ones to adopt me. They were the only ones who ever truly loved me unconditionally in my family.

Instead of being raised by my grandparents my contact with them was limited while I was abused - severely - by my father for many years. At age 14, I was finally placed with my grandparents after my father tried to kill me.

I still deal with a lot of anger over the whole situation, and overall on a day to day basis it doesn't affect me too much any more, but around the holidays it can be quite depressing.

I think the hardest thing for me to deal with now is having to relive a lot of it after leaving an abusive relationship. It took me some time to let go of things again after that partner threw a lot of my past abuse in my face during our breakup. It was uncalled for, and lower than low.

I spent a lot of years working with adoptee's and birth parents doing locates and reunions for people looking for their birth families. I eventually quit that line of work because it was heart breaking.

Over the years I have made a lot of progress dealing with the issues from the abuse, but these darn Holidays can still be quite difficult.

Thanks again for this thread. I think if we talk about it, put a name to it and a voice to it, it is easier to heal - at least it is for me.

Surayna