It isn't discussing straight people that's a sore point, it's being constantly measured against them that is. Femmes do not want to be compared with straight women, many butches do not want to be compared with straight males. Femmes are frequently not taken seriously as lesbians and/or queers. There is a big invisibility factor at play and also there have been many discussions over the years where some butches seem to think straight women are the ultimate prize- which leads to a lot of sore feelings, particularly when you combine that with the invisibility issues.
Also, if you really want to know why straight people feel certain ways, I do think you need to ask them.
Welcome to the site Merlin, you seem like a nice person. We need to listen to you and understand you better and hopefully you will see some of the other points being raised here as well.
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Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
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