[Esme nha Maire]

Having just spotted the thread on bad prose, I decided to give it a try, but I don't think this is bad enough for that wonderful thread...

Pen clenched firmly in her right, Purdey surveyed the tracery of hieroglyphs on the otherwise barren white blankness below and idly waved the pen about whilst furiously wondering what the hell her Mum had been playing at at this very desk just minutes before - she MUST solve the puzzle before Mum came back, lest her cover be blown, and she really didn't want to report another failure back to the Minist...
-what's that noise, creaking?
...It's the staircase!
OH NO! IT'S HER!

The pen rattled on the desk as Purdey released the pen from her paw and greeted her Mum with a kittenly meow, hoping Mum hadn't seen what she was up to. NO-ONE must know that Purdey was an agent for the Ministry of Feline Overlords. Operation Tuna Origins was just too damned important to felinity! Operatives had been trying for years to locate the pond that the wondrous tuna lived in, but the humans kept it a jealously-guarded secret, and that was the secret keeping all felinekind in thrall to the humans. Purdey pumped her paw into the air - Kitties must be free! - then jumped and snuggled into Mum's comfy warm lap.


(the above is a dramatisation of an actual event, aided and abetted by my personal silliness, further inspired by the Ministry of Feline Overlords - who actually do exist).