[Gráinne]

I second, third, and fourth the advice to see a counselor. Were I in your shoes, I would make it mandatory for my remaining in the relationship. If your partner refuses, at the least go for yourself so you can decide whether this relationship is worth saving.

I also agree with cathexis, in that this wasn't about the call. It was about an insidious lack of trust. If you don't trust your partner, that mistrust eats at your relationship like cancer. That's something you can decide to work on.

The immediate crisis is that you now know your partner is capable of putting her hands on you in anger and could cause you serious harm. And what you call "feisty" also has nuances of anger on your part also. There was violence on both your parts. That's a flapping red flag. It's good that she left the house, but what if the neighbor hadn't intervened? Start thinking now about your safety-get important papers together, figure out your support system (or create one). Whether you choose to leave or not, you can be prepared.

Adoption should be way off the table until and unless this is seriously dealt with. A screaming baby and no sleep can and has led to tragedy.

And have the number of the domestic violence hotline memorized, or in your phone under some made up name.