[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

I agree Cheryl.

I have posted about my mother (and father) before.

I begrudge no one their good and loving mother. All children do deserve this.

Unfortunately, not all of us get one.

No self-pity here (maybe more than a touch) but mostly deep sadness at what never was and never will be.

My dad's funeral is Friday and my daughters and brothers gently suggested I not go.

I realized that somehow my mother has always identified with me and projected herself into me with a boatload of self-hate. She has no insight and always refused therapy.

I got my brother to tell me where my dad's grave will be, I will pay my respects after they are gone.

You must be thinking, "She must have done something awful". No, I never did.

As my mother told me once, my dad cried when I was born because I wasn't a boy.

It can only go downhill from there and it did.