Body dysmorphia as part of recovery
I'm currently 100 lbs overweight and I'm not at peace with my body yet. I ate my way up to 316 lbs after I found out I have a mental disability and I got put on probation, plus I had a falling out with my narcissistic Dad (now resolved). Then I was fired for performance issues from my job of 9 years, and unemployed. I was so angry and depressed and ice cream became my best friend. I tried for 14 years in a 12 step program and beat myself up for failing and being fat. I quit OA and went to residential inpatient treatment for binge eating disorder....and was introduced to mindful intuitive eating and started working on body image issues which is termed "body dysmorphia ". Things I have learned: 1. Diets don't work. 2. I had to learn to love my body as is one part at a time in order for the weight to start coming off and my mindset to change. I started by loving my hair and getting a good cut and color and products. Then I loved my eyes and got new glasses and a thorough eye exam. Now I am trying to love my feet by seeing a podiatrist regularly and using moisturizer and Vaseline. I also continue to work on my inner voice calling myself "fat, ugly, stupid, worthless" when I make mistakes.... I keep telling myself "hey! Who first said that to you? They have the issue not you!!" It works and then it doesn't... still going one day at a time...
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