It has never mattered how skinny I was or how fat. I've always thought I was fat. I look at pictures of when I was really skinny and think I'd like to get back there. But if I remember when I actually WAS there, I wasn't happy either. I was paranoid about being too fat. A friend of mine says that what she does when she is with someone is just strips naked in front of them and says "This is what it is." LOL. That is how she gets over it.
I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way but for me it was much more pronounced when I was with men. I felt like I was competing in a way and held to a much higher standard. With women, that was gone - until I got cheated on by my ex with someone who of course was a size 00 - that of course freaked me out. The pressure though to be perfect just hasn't been there in the same way with my relationships with women.
I feel the same pressure with TGs as I did with men. It's almost suffocating. The standard that I feel held to is playboy bunnies and models. On my best day in complete darkness - I won't be mistaken for either.....
My experience has been that they make an awful lot of comments like "Oh, she's hot." The minute I hear that I tense up. Then my gears start turning. I want to run and hide. Women may do that - I just haven't met one that talks that way or that often about it. What they seem to want and what I am are different. My mind can't compute it. No matter how I try to do the math.
If the idea is to find someone who loves you for you - lol - but you are not the ideal woman for them - how can you win? I know I'm insecure (ya think?) but it does seem important for them to say it all the time. I don't understand why - the only purpose it seems to serve is to make me feel bad about myself. I am very aware I guess of how people feel and wouldn't say things that might make them feel bad. If you care about someone you should try to build them up right?? I honestly don't have an answer. I do understand what you mean though.
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