Long-time Member
How Do You Identify?: WIB - woman identified butch
Preferred Pronoun?: Your choice...not really a button for me
Relationship Status: ♡ married 1/1/2019♡
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: San Diego
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Thank you for your thorough response honeybarbara! I hope others chime in as well.
For me, if I don't know where I stand in a relationship, I can't be fully invested. I'm fine with casual sex, friends with benefits, dating, etcetera. As long as I am aware of the expectations, I can decide whether I am a willing participant. The fact that I don't currently have a primary relationship doesn't mean I am not poly, it just means no current relationship has gotten there (yet). Being in a monogamous relationship doesn't mean I am poly either, it just means I am not in a poly relationship at that time.
The person who got my train of thought moving suggested that if I wasn't having sex with someone, they were a "friend" and I disagreed. They also suggested that if I wasn't a "family" with those involved, it was an open relationship not poly. For me, relationships don't form spontaneously. It takes time to decide whether a connection is there and what that connection means. I believe you can have a romantic relationship without sex and that you can love more than one person (romantically) without being "in love" with them. I also believe you can have sex with someone who you aren't in love with (which I sometimes prefer). I don't think sexual practices determine whether or not you are poly.
For now, I think I will label myself "open poly whore" to cover all the bases.
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