Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Test: what does your attitude about money say about you?

imperfect_cupcake · 07-31-2015, 02:08 PM

This is one of the reasons I won't live with someone again. I've lived with three partners. One when I was bisexual and with my best friend and partner, a bloke. He was great to live with. We had our own bedrooms, we had our own bank accounts, paid our own bills, he did his share of the housework (urban living, no yard. I mean cleaning, laundry etc).
He never pushed me to do "women's jobs" because I would have thrown him off a bridge for it and he didn't want "a little woman to look after him." He wanted what we had. A partnership where things were done according to skill and desire. I was better at fixing the car than he was. He was good at playing guitar to me while I was in the tub.
My dad was the same. He was good at science and maths and baking. He also did the laundry, and split up the house chores on a rota between everyone that lived in the house.
The bills were all paid equally, into a kittie.

I never had the money issue, housework issue until I went dyketastic. Suddenly, a whole bunch of gender roles I never learned with money and housework were thrown at me.
And I have been told that "doing house work is upsetting to me because of the gender thing. I feel like I'm being feminized because my family..."
Wow. That sucks. I'm princess gender. I hear you. My gender requires I sit on the couch and eat cake while you vacume. I feel your pain."

Same thing goes for money. But I find its bent against me - since I'm the nurturer and carer, it's also up to me to pay the bills and do all the admin stuff.

So, I just make it really simple: im 46. We aren't raising kids together. Nor am I going to raise dogs with you. You can support yourself. I can support myself. It's going to stay that way. You be my fantastic, amazing best ever fabulous guest when you stay at mine, I'll be your fantastic, amazing, best ever, fabulous guest when I stay at yours.

That way the domestic responsibility is clear (your house, your responsibility; my little urban apartment, my responsibility) and I can avoid all the nonsense I've put up with with money etc.

07-31-2015, 02:08 PM	#22
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	This is one of the reasons I won't live with someone again. I've lived with three partners. One when I was bisexual and with my best friend and partner, a bloke. He was great to live with. We had our own bedrooms, we had our own bank accounts, paid our own bills, he did his share of the housework (urban living, no yard. I mean cleaning, laundry etc). He never pushed me to do "women's jobs" because I would have thrown him off a bridge for it and he didn't want "a little woman to look after him." He wanted what we had. A partnership where things were done according to skill and desire. I was better at fixing the car than he was. He was good at playing guitar to me while I was in the tub. My dad was the same. He was good at science and maths and baking. He also did the laundry, and split up the house chores on a rota between everyone that lived in the house. The bills were all paid equally, into a kittie. I never had the money issue, housework issue until I went dyketastic. Suddenly, a whole bunch of gender roles I never learned with money and housework were thrown at me. And I have been told that "doing house work is upsetting to me because of the gender thing. I feel like I'm being feminized because my family..." Wow. That sucks. I'm princess gender. I hear you. My gender requires I sit on the couch and eat cake while you vacume. I feel your pain." Same thing goes for money. But I find its bent against me - since I'm the nurturer and carer, it's also up to me to pay the bills and do all the admin stuff. So, I just make it really simple: im 46. We aren't raising kids together. Nor am I going to raise dogs with you. You can support yourself. I can support myself. It's going to stay that way. You be my fantastic, amazing best ever fabulous guest when you stay at mine, I'll be your fantastic, amazing, best ever, fabulous guest when I stay at yours. That way the domestic responsibility is clear (your house, your responsibility; my little urban apartment, my responsibility) and I can avoid all the nonsense I've put up with with money etc.