[Nat]

I'm doing better this week, but I had a hard time before, during and after September 5th, which was the birthday of my very troubled junior high / early high school boyfriend who died in a car accident this last May. Every September 5th since I was 15 years old, I've worried about him and wondered how he was and hoped he was doing okay. This year it was like a freight train - but for the first time ever it wasn't worry that I felt - just grief. I'm very glad that after a 7 year gap, we did get to talk again around march of this year. I'm just comforted to have gotten to get the update on his life, to give him the update on mine and just get some perspective on those kids we once were. I know his friends are mourning a Josh I never really knew, and I'm mourning the kid he once was and the kid he never got to be.