I agree, it's super disturbing how kids' things are so very gendered.
I read that column the post above me refers to, and I was a bit conflicted. I get where the author was going with the whole "wear the skirt in safer spaces" advice, but it also seems kinda crappy. I mean, it's like saying to your kid, "Yay! You're awesome! Be whoever you are! Umm, well, unless you're here... or here ... How about we stick to grandma's house?"
At the same time, the super protective femmeness comes out in me, and I'm determined to protect the beautiful, awesome, queerness of kids from the world so that they can be who they are and figure out where they fit without the jerks raining on their pride parade.