[Canela]

Originally Posted by DELSDAUGHTER

no its not crazy at all, what you said. I have met several people in my life that repeat the same choices and gravitate to the same type of people because it felt like the "norm" I had two very special people walk out of my life because things were "too good" My therapist said it was because it was not what they were used to ,having grown up in dysfunctional households and years of abuse. They said i was too good to them....
i appreciate the insight you have given me...

Thank you DELSDAUGHTER and yes, it's like being conditioned by dysfunctional upbringing or experiences, you're always looking for that dysfunction to manifest itself SOMEWHERE in ANY and/or every area of your life...life, love, work, social, everywhere....no area off limits...

For me--I learned through God and ALL HIS GOODNESS that I didn't have to STAY in that mindset. (Therapy helped too, but not like prayer and faith.) You have to want it (change) I guess, you have to make a conscious (SP) effort to change our habits, our mode of thinking, our paranoia for instance, that keeps us thinking it's ALWAYS going to be like that, with EVERYONE. I read something here along the lines of 'since they'd never had a healthy, non-dysfunctional family, it was a foreign concept to experience one in their lives, via someone else. It was the same way for ME.

Thankfully, we have ALL learned to find a way out of the pain and abuse, and are on our way to healing, praise God! I see that in the posts I have read where we share our pain and experiences and then share how we are surviving. I have a saying, "everyday I open my eyes, I have another day to do something better than I did the day before". This saying is a part of what motivates me to keep going. That and the responsibility of being a mom and having someone needing me to be there, healthy and whole...and I plan to be. One day. If not, I hold on to the hope that I will continue on a pathway to healing and surviving more and more everyday. That this goal is attainable, and that it is a lifelong commitment that this commitment-phobe (that should say something)...lol...fully intends to keep.

I'm sure it's that way with all of us here, if we look, there's always some reasoning behind the motivation [survival] that gets us to sit up, prioritize ourselves and make a plan and decide to implement it, for our own best self. I'm rooting(sp)/praying for each and everyone of us to get to a healthy space in our hearts and lives through whatever means works for each of us.

Love and blessings to you!