06-14-2010, 09:59 AM
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#65
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Joy Seeker
How Do You Identify?: Smartly-Flavored
Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess
Relationship Status: Mrs. Syzygy 1/9/14
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Joyville, NM (aka Land of Enchantment)
Posts: 10,140
Thanks: 13,636
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperFemme
I don't think Femme's have diverse pronoun usage to worry about. Or even so much diverse gender presentation. So we get a little taken for granted IMO. To me that translates into us doing a lot of work around making sure that the butches and trans folk around us are comfy. Over the last 5-7 years it has become kind of auto-pilot. That is where we get into trouble with laziness of language choices ya think?
I HAVE seen our counterparts care when it comes to things like oh say...Stone Femme. Even then the shit hits the fan and a consensus cannot be reached on a definition. My question to everyone is this: Do we need healing within the Femme community to the same degree or are we intertwined with the butch and trans communities?
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I think Femmes have diverse (and possibly divisive) labels such as Stone Femme, Queer Femme, Lesbian Femme, High Femme, Tomboy Femme, etc.
I don't think the other side of this coin really gets those labels and sometimes I see those labels used to mock femmes (or femmes that make up the "ex" on their personal life's map.)
So I do think that we as a community of self-identified Femmes can demonstrate by doing over talking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperFemme
Also, if you bind yourself with somebody in order to prove a connection with them you need therapy, not the label of an ally.
With that being said, I also think that it's a fine line between ally and appropriation.
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I'm not sure how we appropriate Butch/Transguy/Them by being an ally. I think I'm not reading your point correctly on this. Can you expound on it when you are feeling better?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperFemme
Yes. Fences are so hard to climb, and the electric ones frizz your hair. Bridges on the other hand let you cross over and visit for a while. It's a tricky thing not to build fences when you think you are building bridges. One gives you a clear view of the other side and one blocks your view.
Let's say that Cal starts testosterone and I run around making rhoid rage jokes in all the threads. I am erecting fences, am I not? If instead I thoughtfully answer any questions that people might ask me? I am building bridges, right?
Or if Cal goes into a thread and speaks about his experience and T and then somebody disputes it? If I wait for Cal to come back in and answer I am building bridges. If I go in and say this is what Cal meant, and you all don't understand Cal blahblahblah.....I am erecting fences.
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I think that, for me, building a fence is when I tell a butch who id's one way how "all" other butches of another id think/feel/act.
It is honestly something I have to watch myself on because I'm really good at telling other people what other people think.
OMG. I think I just realized something. I've set myself up as a thought translator.
Well that's not good.
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