[Vivacious1]

10 years ago, I would have never considered sharing anything personal about myself with anyone, let alone in a forum like this.

My experience with body-image growing up was a little twisted.

From the time I can remember food was a big deal in my family. Everything revolved around it. I am from the south, not saying everyone in the south is like this but my family is. Every holiday was over-indulgence, food pushers and shame if you did not partake in the tradition. "well gramma cut that pie just for you".

Now, the interesting part is that on one hand it was all about the food, on the other hand it was about those horrible noises from mom's bathroom after her indulgence. For years, I wondered why she was always ill, until I learned that what she was doing kept things "under control for her".

From that point on, I learned how to "keep things under control" for myself. The lines of healthy and unhealthy became insanely blurred. I could no longer look into a mirror and see what I really looked like, distortion was all I knew. It took many years to be able to learn to control things in a more healthy way. I still have my moments, but am thankful for the people and myself for giving me a chance and inspiring me to see things differently.