Thanks for starting the thread Ascot. I of course, am on the outside looking in, I have my own battles with being "seen" as Femme. So although I have not walked a mile in your shoes, I do have a little idea of what you and other Butches live with daily.
In this neighbor hood I'm living in now the folks know I'm one of "those gals", and at this age most folks don't care much because the thought of 'old people' having sex is gross, ask any teenager.
I usually read "Straight" or "Grandmother". In some areas it's safer to be read in those terms. Sad but true.
But of course the only time I get read as Femme right out of the gate is here.