[femmebotdyke]

This is difficult but I'm so impressed by everyone else's posts that I want to attempt at least a provisional kind of self-description. It's a femme's prerogative to change her mind so here we go...


I'm a ''fat'' feminist, femme dyke. I'm not into re-rehearsing old scripts or shoehorning myself into pre-determined roles but neither am I under the illusion of being able to completely transcend them. Nor am I prepared to deny their continued erotic and socio-political valence- in my life and in the lives of others. No one has the privilege of only ever having to answer to their own name so I take the names that I have been given, imperfect instruments as they are, and use their imperfections against them and those who would wield them.
In a culture in which femininity (and masculinity) are constant and uncertain achievements I am a more or less unproblematically feminine dyke who loves butches and transmasculine people.
I am the kind of femme who's charm arsenal is much more formidable and explosive than she could ever imagine. Who doubts herself and usually rationalizes it away when she senses she's being cruised.
I am a compulsive and obsessive reader of books (self-confessed bibliophile here) but also of bodies and mind. I'm the kind of femme others use as a mouth-piece for or decoder of their own unexpressible emotions. I am a femme who feels (and who is sometimes afraid of the force of her emotions), who listens. Words come easily to me.
If I worship at the feet of any goddess it's Doubt. I'm a femme who is constantly learning, interrogating my own assumptions, forming, dissolving and reforming opinions,forever curious. I'm the kind of person who is adept at seeing all points of view but struggles to fully adopt one or tow the party line for more than five minutes. The negative face of this trait is indecisiveness...and sometimes self-loathing. I'm also skeptical.
I am a femme who values justice- but who's brand of justice is not especially punitive.
I'm the kind of femme who dislikes shopping (especially for clothes) and has little more than a cursory interest in depilation, make-up, jewellry, weight-loss diets, shoes, handbags, ''cleanses'', facials, manicures or anything that reeks of ''girly"- but who still takes an enormous amount of time and care in choosing an outfit and is the most overdressed person at any given occasion from an early morning trip to the supermarket to a night on the town.
I am a vegan femme.
I am a femme who over-intellectualizes things at times.
I am a femme who feels more comfortable in a dress or something resembling one (like a skirt or a long tunic) and likes to show rather than disguise the sillohuette of her hips, the shape of her breast, her thighs...
I am a physically strong femme who does most of the heavy lifting, who's not phased by spiders, snakes or other creepy crawlies or getting dirty...most of the time.
I am a foodie femme who loves to feed and cook and look after other people.
I am a near technical (and technological) illiterate- home handiwork or basic motor mechanics are not my forte.
I'm a femme who appreciates a dry wit and tends towards having a more sardonic, black sense of humour.
I'm a sensitive, introverted femme.
I'm the kind of femme who abhors most institutions and forms of authority and regimentation-including ''organised fun'' (so don't take me on a cruise ship unless it's an exercise in observing/trying to make sense of the human condition!)
I am a femme with a dirty mind, who's mother always told her to close her legs, who's usually inappropriate for her own kicks rather than because she doesn't know the correct way to behave.
I'm a cynical femme and a self-deprecating femme and a disorganized femme.
I am femme who needs her own space.
I am a greedy femme.
I am an even-tempered, calm, competent femme who often feels out of control.
I am a thinking butch's femme.
I am all of these things and yet still haven't exhuasted description...