Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathless
The mistake people tend to make, in my honest opinion, is getting in to a relationship with someone, and thinking that they can change them. It’s not your right to change them! Other than maybe turn that frown upside down..  But seriously, if people walk into a relationship thinking that they can and will change someone, then they are only kidding themselves. Now on the flip side, in time, people do evolve and do change, but that is their choice as to the what and how, and the change might be from Heinz ketchup to hunts..
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I don't think everything is cut and dried.
There is a third option.
With my long-term ex, she was stone through our first 10 years.
I never pressured her to be different.
She stated to me that when she first came out, she had relationships where she was not stone and over time, decided it was not for her.
After about our 10th year, she stated
she would like to see what it was like again, that at one point, early in her sexual life with women, she had enjoyed receiving oral sex.
Of course, I was fine with her choice because I never was stone but loved her so whatever she needed or wanted- I would go either direction. I had
never made her feel badly and never was abusively pushing her. She told me she wanted to try it again so I was happy to participate. It was solely her decision.
It would have been ok either way at whatever
her decision would have been.
People in an intimate relationship have a right to try things and they have the right to decide what works for them and what fits for them. They also have the right to say that stone really is their preference-that they tried something different, thought it would be ok and it wasn't.
If you love them, you go with the flow. If you just can't deal with it or it doesn't work for you; either of you must move on.
That is ok, too.