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imperfect_cupcake · 09-19-2017, 11:48 PM

my mum, my "real" mum, ie the one who raised me: it's always been difficult. But she has the start of dementia now so the entire relationship went through a tough upheaval. She was a very tough, independent woman with two long term relationships and two long term careers. She could be emotionally abusive, gaslighting, controlling and utterly horrible. But she is also very generous, hilarious, protective, gregarious, and caring. She's a human. She's flawed. I can't imagine trying to raise kids and going through all what she did.

I've forgiven her past behaviours, it's a bit late in the game. Her memory is slipping. She's turning into a different person. It was hell for a bit while she tried to hide it and she was terrified and thus was nasty as fuck to everyone around her because she was so scared. But, I might, and probably will, lose my memory at some point in my future. And I won't have a daughter to help me. So, I'm trying my best. We get along pretty good - comparatively - these days. we have our ups and downs, as always. Our fights have always been horrific and gut clenching - they reminded me of the horrific abusive arguments with partners - same weird gaslighting twists in them where you suddenly doubt reality, and my face starts going numb.

But these days I take her around downtown on walks, get coffee, we watch netflix costume dramas, and I listen to the same story 16 times over. I go over and do odd jobs for her twice a month.

My birth mum is crazy in the desert in a trailer. She moved the trailer so, have no idea where she is now.

My step mum is good. It's nice to know she'll be around for a while. She's only 20 years older than me so she's more like an older sister and I like her. I imagine she'll be the only one left after a while. We get along great as we have the same sense of humour and same interest in medical history, travel, socialism, and women's rights.

09-19-2017, 11:48 PM	#110
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	my mum, my "real" mum, ie the one who raised me: it's always been difficult. But she has the start of dementia now so the entire relationship went through a tough upheaval. She was a very tough, independent woman with two long term relationships and two long term careers. She could be emotionally abusive, gaslighting, controlling and utterly horrible. But she is also very generous, hilarious, protective, gregarious, and caring. She's a human. She's flawed. I can't imagine trying to raise kids and going through all what she did. I've forgiven her past behaviours, it's a bit late in the game. Her memory is slipping. She's turning into a different person. It was hell for a bit while she tried to hide it and she was terrified and thus was nasty as fuck to everyone around her because she was so scared. But, I might, and probably will, lose my memory at some point in my future. And I won't have a daughter to help me. So, I'm trying my best. We get along pretty good - comparatively - these days. we have our ups and downs, as always. Our fights have always been horrific and gut clenching - they reminded me of the horrific abusive arguments with partners - same weird gaslighting twists in them where you suddenly doubt reality, and my face starts going numb. But these days I take her around downtown on walks, get coffee, we watch netflix costume dramas, and I listen to the same story 16 times over. I go over and do odd jobs for her twice a month. My birth mum is crazy in the desert in a trailer. She moved the trailer so, have no idea where she is now. My step mum is good. It's nice to know she'll be around for a while. She's only 20 years older than me so she's more like an older sister and I like her. I imagine she'll be the only one left after a while. We get along great as we have the same sense of humour and same interest in medical history, travel, socialism, and women's rights.