Heartbreak Kid,
I have heard of that before, but can't remember where from. It is anger turned inward = depression.
That is a horrible place to be. I think at one time or another we were all there. It just took so much energy and strength to live. And in living we are beating our abuser(s). They are the ones who failed us repeatedly.
Thank you for your post. It was so well stated.
God bless you,
Andrew