[NitroChrys_Butch]

What can I tell you about Leigh? Leigh was funny. Smart. Good at so many things. My best friend. We were in cahoots. We spent countless hours being together doing nothing. Hanging out. Talking. Sharing. We were inseparable. There wasn't anything we wouldn't do for each other. Say to one another. We grew up finishing each other's sentences. A look was all that was needed to know what the other was thinking and scheming. And we were in it ...hook, line and sinker together. We had each other's backs.

Days after the accident, I refused to come out of my room. I refused to eat with the family. I refused to talk to anyone. I shut down. I had to. I couldn't process Leigh was gone. Any minute Leigh would come into My room and tell Me quit being a jerk. Quit hurting the rest of the family with My foolishness. Any minute. Tick. Tick. Tick. Any minute Leigh would walk in My room. But Leigh didn't.

People told Me to "snap" out of it. I couldn't keep acting this way. I was making them uncomfortable. My grief wasn't convenient. I should be on their timetable. It was time to move on. Time to heal. Time to go forward. Live. How was I supposed to do that when Leigh wasn't here. How could they tell Me what to feel and how to feel it and for how long? This is My pain. This is My grief. They have no idea. I wasn't about to apologize to anyone because My pain ... the grief I felt and was going through was making them uneasy. I knew I was hurting My parents... I knew they were hurting but I couldn't help them any more than they could help Me.

We all go through this. We lose someone dear to us. And, unfortunately, we lose more than one dear person in this life time. How we handle it is ours and ours alone and no one has the right to tell us how to do this. How dare they.

I heard the amount of pain we feel with a loss is only equal to the amount of love we experienced with that person. Makes sense.