Apocalipstic, I, too, absolutely HATE IT when people tell adoptees that we should be thankful! We didn't ask to be born. We didn't choose any of what happened to us. My parents wanted a second baby and they got one.
I think I actually hate it when anyone tells any kids that they *should* be thankful, but it's extra shitty when it's said to adoptees. I think modeling gratitude to kids is great, because cultivating gratitude is good self-care, but that is not the same as telling them they *should* be grateful. Adults make/choose to adopt/foster babies and are required to keep them safe and cared for. Failing to do so is unethical and in many cases a crime, as it should be. Babies are not required to be grateful for that. When children are probably cared for, they often do end up feeling grateful, and that's great, but it's not a 'should'.
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