[Greyson]

Originally Posted by Bit

I have a question. Lately when Nick and Gryph and I have been out in public, it has seemed to me that people have been going out of their way to call us "ladies."


I suppose one of the big cringe factors is their attitude; they are quite obviously going out of their way to be extra nice and to reassure us all that "they can tell [the transman] is actually really female, no worries, we accept you as a girl, we aren't going to embarrass you by not noticing your femaleness" omg it just makes me CRINGE....

So anyhow, here's my question. Does this happen to you in your area, or is it just the Midwest US; and if it does happen where you are, does it happen to you more when you are with a Femme than if you are alone?
Thanks in advance for your answers, everyone. I appreciate your time.

Evening Bit. I am going to give your questions a shot. This has happened to me where I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. And, as a matter of fact it did seem to happen more often when I was in the company of femmes and other ladies. I have been taking T for the past 18 months and the ma'am thing rarely happens now. I am not a hairy guy so not much facial hair to speak of on me.

There have been a few times in my past that I have just directly dealt with the ma'am and lady thing. First I tell them, Look no need to apologize. I know you are trying to be polite. I know how I look, present. Then I ask, "Seriously, do I look like a lady?" Usually they are not sure what to say and looking at me with a look of dumb foundedness. Then I again try to reasure them with something like "I know you have probably never been face to face with a person like me. I am Trans. This means for me, I purposely present as masculine. So please try this; If you cannot wrap your head around using a masculine pronoun on me, use prounouns that are genderless or use my name, Grey."

By this point they really are trying to make sense of what I have just said. Usually people are so unprepared to hear in a very matter of fact style such openess. They just say okay and the conversation ends or we move on.

I am very serious, I have done this a few times and so far, so good.