[JDeere]

I was adopted when I was 2 days old.

I knew I was different from the age of 5, I was given a book called "Why Was I Adopted", it's a kiddo book. I read it and yeah that aint the way it goes sometimes with things.

Anywho I turned 18 and my adoptive family hired a PI to find out any more information they could about my Bio family. They only had 2 names and the first information that popped up was my oldest half sister, who is now 62. I called and we talked, met up once and then lost touch due to her addiction problems. I also further learned that I have a half brother in prison for life, for the murder of his paternal grandmother, I went to see him in prison, he had no idea about me but haven't spoken to him since, he is a Lifer. I also have 2 more half sisters before me, different fathers as well, we no longer speak to each other, we talk about each other actually and yes it is very drama filled, will explain more later. Then I have 3 more younger half sisters below me, met them as well, I only speak to 2 of them currently, was also told that my birth mother lost a set of twins as well. So in all there were 10 of us by my birth mother.

Mother passed last year in March, I went to her memorial in Missouri, I met her once before at my nephews funeral in 2014. I never got an apology or heard the truth from her mouth as to how I became on this earth, why she truly gave me up and who my birth father truly is or any other information to help with my search for him. I forgave her and made amends with her at the funeral home, before they wheeled her out to be cremated.

Later I found out the truth about how I came about from my oldest half sister, she was around when mom was pregnant with me,etc. I am the product of an extra martial affair, my birth father was married, having an affair with my birth mother, told her he didn't want kids but lied about him being married. He took off before I was born and even left the state to avoid problems, I know his name and possible location but right now is not a good time for me to continue my search, financially and emotionally as well as mentally, I can't handle much more right now.

My family was torn apart when mom died, a life insurance policy and resentment towards me and my so called wonderful life and upbringing caused 4 of my sisters to go off on me in person and on facebook. I only talk to 2 sisters now, as well as one of her brothers and sister, I do not speak to the others for several reasons and it will stay that way.

I have a ton of nieces and nephews as well as greats, which is cool cuz I can borrow one of em when I visit and don't have to take them home LOL

I do know my family's history from ethnic background to health problems, which I really needed to know so I am grateful for meeting who I have on my birth moms side.

My life has not been the same, I feel cheated and I'm pretty much mad a huge majority of the day in the last year. However not every story is good and not every story is bad when it comes to being adopted, it's how you choose to react and live life.