[*Anya*]

I have nothing new to add on the pursuit of perfection. It is illusory and does not exist for any of us. If I am an imperfect human, how could I possibily expect perfection in another? It is a set-up for failure.

I was depressed and sad for a long time. The thing with depression is that it is an endless loop that begins to feel like all is hopeless. The more hopeless one feels, the more isolative I became. How could I possibly meet anyone if I risked nothing? Not possible.

The passing of the years finally got to me. I realized that I just had to take action myself! I had to put myself out there, get active on the Planet, join a lesbian dating site-go out on dates, just for the experience, gain confidence in myself again-even if no chemistry, I met some nice butches; the better I felt, the more I smiled at strangers and surprise of surprise- they smiled back (including a cute butch where I work, who did a double-take when I smiled at her and smiled back really big).

My point is that special butch really will not knock on the door without risking yourself. They are out there. The better I felt, the more they came to me! Funny how that works.

I realized that I have choices for how to be. I chose to have a life, to take some risks with my heart, I chose to be happy and to believe that love is on my horizon and is getting closer by the day...so close that I can almost reach out and touch it...

Never, ever, give up!