[Quintease]

This is such an emotive subject

I consider myself poly, unfortunately I live in a mono world. I can't count the amount of times I've been told by other online users, aquaintances and even lovers that poly is all about sleeping around and disregarding other peoples feelings, that it can never work, that the 'natural' way to show love is monogamy (despite both the bible and the animal kingdom suggesting otherwise), that there is no way to get beyond the jealousy and fear that most people experience.. despite the fact that most of us manage to move past negative feelings in other areas of our lives, that poly will impact on children negatively... as opposed to what? divorce, affairs, acrimonious breakups? And on and on... I've even had people who have had affairs tell me that polyamory was wrong! Um, but weren't you engaging in non-consensual polyamory?!!!

Now however I'm crazy in love with someone who considers himself naturally mono, so can't see himself ever able to be happy in an open arrangement. We both have our own illogical fears about this. He worries that by denying me an allowed outlet, I'll instead have affairs, and I worry that by being so resolutely mono, he'll be dishonest when he does find himself fancying someone else. I can't see it coming to that though. When I met my boyfriend I realised his happiness in our relationship meant more to me than anything else. If he's happy, I'm happy and besides, I can still look