I know you will all never beleive this but I have a tendancy to do some pretty stupid things.....quite regularly. When I started teaching K-5th grade kids that did not stopp but has increased dramatically:
I have recess duty with 4 other teachers....Dr. Thoreau hollers for the kids to: "Grab your balls its time to go in" other 4 teachers fall on ground in hysterics.....the next day having realized what I said was wrong I holler: 'Ok kids pick up your balls and hold them" other 4 teachers fall on gorund in hysterics........... Day 3.....Will everyone please grab some balls and line up...... other 4 teachers snicker ....Day 4............. "Keep your balls in your hands"........other 4 teachers blame me for needing to wear depends when they are on recess duty..... Day 5........ Ok everyone time to go in...dont forget your balls..............
That was the last day I had recess duty......
Teaching first grades how to do computer things.....They were not getting the right clcik so I decide; " Ok everyone raise your right hand..now i want everyone to show me their RIGHT CLICK finger".....principal walks by as all 30 second graders were giving me the finger (This is now what all the teachers in my school say when they are upset: Oh right click) and the two assistants went running out of the classroom giggling...
I have the kindergartners in my classroom for computer class...."bethany says.... Dr Thoreau...miles is playing with a worm"
I walk over to miles and tell him to give me the worm...he looks at me..I tell him to put the worm in my hand....he looks at me with major apprehension...
As I am repeating myself I realize what a WORM is.....
I say " go wash your hands".....and contemplate going in the teachers room and sticking my head in the gas oven.
luckily i keep my shoes clean and i use licorice flavored laces...since i continually have them in my mouth