First. I apologize for intruding in the femme zone. The Op was specifically asking other femmes how they felt about and handled situations of rudeness.
I am posting here because this type of situation is something we both have to learn to cope and deal with as individuals and as a couple.
People being rude is a fact of life. Unless someone is spewing homophobic insults, I dont presume they are acting out of homophobia.
People may just be having a bad day and looking for a target to make themselves feel better, they may be under the influence, they may be a few bricks short, they may be having a need to demonstrate their machismo and revert to the behavior of preadolescence etc. You never really know what may be behind the behavior.
As a butch, and lifelong atypical woman, various types of rudeness is commonplace from both males and females for any number of reasons.
One needs to gauge whether there is a true threat to life and limb versus just plain people rudeness. And, it helps to never take the rudeness of strangers personally.
How one chooses to deal with rudeness is an individual thing that reflects more on me than on the other person or people.
As a woman, I have learned just acknowledging the behavior as rude, smiling, nodding, smh and moving on works best for me. Engaging rudeness, even homophobic rudeness, is energy wasted.
On the flip side, just as femmes may worry about their butches, we also worry about rude behavior shown towards our femmes i.e. the cat calling, the innuendo etc.
I have been blessed to partner with very strong, wise, and verbal women who taught me a lot about dealing with people, rudeness, and men. The most important thing I had to learn? To get out of their way when they are dealing with something.
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