Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Important things I learned from past relationships

Cin · 03-06-2012, 09:29 PM

I learned that it is just as painful to break someone’s heart as it is to have your own broken. Actually if I am being really honest, it was less excruciating to be left than it was to leave. I was in a relationship for eleven years and I spent the last five of it trying to get free without breaking her heart. Of course it wasn’t possible and in the end I hurt her badly. This changed me and affected the way I experienced love for years after. It was less painful when a woman I was with for six years decided she wasn’t in love with me anymore and wanted to pursue a relationship with a man she met at work. That hurt but because I was the one who was left it was easier.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it’s never easy when love ends, both parties suffer. Until it happened to me I just assumed it would hurt worse to be dumped. Not true. At least not for me.

Promising to love someone forever and then falling out of love and taking back my promise taught me a couple of things. It taught me to be careful what I promise. And it taught me that when love ends for one person but doesn’t for the other there isn’t anything either party can do. It isn’t fair to expect someone to love you when they don’t. And it doesn’t say anything about you. Love just ends sometimes. Learning this made it easier to deal with when I was the one being dumped.

The other thing I learned is that when it comes to love there is never a happy ending. I guess if you die together in a plane crash or something…but other than that it’s destined to be painful at some point. There is always a risk to love. But it’s worth it.

03-06-2012, 09:29 PM	#8
Cin Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: In My Head Posts: 2,805 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,326 Thanked 10,619 Times in 2,489 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I learned that it is just as painful to break someone’s heart as it is to have your own broken. Actually if I am being really honest, it was less excruciating to be left than it was to leave. I was in a relationship for eleven years and I spent the last five of it trying to get free without breaking her heart. Of course it wasn’t possible and in the end I hurt her badly. This changed me and affected the way I experienced love for years after. It was less painful when a woman I was with for six years decided she wasn’t in love with me anymore and wanted to pursue a relationship with a man she met at work. That hurt but because I was the one who was left it was easier. I guess what I am trying to say is that it’s never easy when love ends, both parties suffer. Until it happened to me I just assumed it would hurt worse to be dumped. Not true. At least not for me. Promising to love someone forever and then falling out of love and taking back my promise taught me a couple of things. It taught me to be careful what I promise. And it taught me that when love ends for one person but doesn’t for the other there isn’t anything either party can do. It isn’t fair to expect someone to love you when they don’t. And it doesn’t say anything about you. Love just ends sometimes. Learning this made it easier to deal with when I was the one being dumped. The other thing I learned is that when it comes to love there is never a happy ending. I guess if you die together in a plane crash or something…but other than that it’s destined to be painful at some point. There is always a risk to love. But it’s worth it.