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Old 04-15-2018, 03:58 AM   #1
Esme nha Maire
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Default Socialisation and related issues

In a thread started due to a PhD student wanting respondents for a survey on smoking (it transpired that she actually only wanted cisgender non-hetero women to respond, rather than lesbians in general or the LGBTQ community as a whole, partly due to an interest in the socialisation issues involved) I remarked that socialisation issues(regarding MTF's, at least) is, IMO a huuge can of worms, and it'd be great of someone did some good research into it.

I don't know what it's like for young trans folk now, but I know that multiple times over the years well-meaning folk asking me "what it's like having lived as both", or some such, have been surprised when I've told them that I honestly have no idea - I only know what it's like to live as a girl/woman born with the wrong bits. That being in that situation I tended to pick up on gender-appropriate (ie: in my case female) socialisation cues, and avoided to the greatest extent possible the incorrect (in my case male) ones consistent with my well-being and safety just doesn't seem to occur to some folk.

It's a damnably tricky topic, and I don't wish to cause upset, nor do I feel there's much, if any, merit in 'more-than/less-than' arguments here, but I have myself encountered transwomen who, visually presenting as femme, nevertheless came across to me as rather blokey in behaviour. Which raises all sorts of questions like - were they really an MTF butch, but felt constrained by societal pressure (or that of the gender clinics) to present as femme? Or were they simply poorly socialised as women? Something else?

In a nutshell - to what extent are any of us, trans or not, shaped or defined by socialisation? It's clearly an important thing - teenagers go through the pains of finding out how to fit in in adult society, and where their place in it is. When I transitioned, I was already comfy working and socialising with other women, because, well, I'd always fitted in far better with women than men in most situations, and was often (not always) tacitly included as 'one of the girls' despite the world then seeing me as male. But I know that not all MTFs have been so lucky.

The only area I struggled with was socialisation amongst lesbians. I've little enough face to face time with other lesbians en masse, as yet, that I still feel a bit awkward and teenagery, but that awkwardness has to do with sexuality, not gender. Having been a wallflower all my life, I'm facing that problem that I know not a few other lesbians have had over the years - how does the social dance go when it's women rather than men that we're interested in? (Chuckle) it's fun finding out, but I wish there more more frequent opportunities to do so! :-}
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