I came out to my mom first because she is nosey and i knew she would pick up on it anyway. My longtime partner had lived as my roommate for just a couple of weeks. It was not good. My mom is a Southern Baptist Republican and wears each one of those titles to her core. I was disowned and written out of her will and she did not speak to me for 6 months. When she figured out she needed me, she called and we talked. That was 12 years ago. She still don't really "get it" but i'm her daughter again and back in her will and good graces. She is also kind to my partners and treats them like family. She's come a long way.
Coming out to my kids was way easier. I waited about a year till they were 13 and 16. Until then they just saw my partner as our roommate and we did not show SOA in front of them. My youngest, middle of the road republican son didn't like it but just basically chose to ignor it. My oldest, liberal democratic son, said he knew it and was proud. He had a shirt that said "my mom is gay and i'm proud of her". I was particular about where he wore that...lol.
I've came out increasingly over the years to my friends and specific people at work including my boss who is wonderful and accepting. My aunts/uncles and the like have no clue. I will probably keep it that way.
My brother knew before he passed and was fine with it. My father passed prior to me coming out to myself but i know his princess could do no wrong and is smiling down on me and my life.
It takes a lot of time, often, for family members to come around. I try and convey that with every opportunity that i get when i know younger people are coming out to their family.
Just give them the info....give it a few months to sink in and don't take their confusion and disappointment to heart. Most of the time, things change.
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~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~
Maya Angelou
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