Quote:
Originally Posted by PaPa
My mind has been pondering how people with a history of being victimized in abusive relationships in the past can establish ways of acting that perpetuate abuse in future relationships. They become so used to the pattern that they willingly go to those behaviors when with a new person. This also leads me to believe that chances are the new partner will be abusive too. This was all sparked by a friend I went to undergrad with who is now doing crisis work related to domestic abuse...
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I have been abused and I did look for that in other people. I really believe the only thing that "saved" me was my last abusive ex. I made the decision that I wasn't going to allow someone to do that to me again. It took A LOT of work on myself and a few years but I was finally able to stop the cycle.
It is hard because people are drawn to what they know. To break out of the cycle is uncomfortable and scary because it is, in most ways, unknown territory.
One good thing is that it doesn't stay uncomfortable and soon you realize that it is much better than the old ways.