[Ms. Meander]

Hello!

I am an ethical non-monogamist. If I'm doing labels I also identify with the term, Solo Polyamorist. What that means to me is that I am not seeking a primary partner or wish to establish any kind of hierarchical relationship system of my own. I am my own primary partner.

But that does not mean I am not seeking meaningful connections, open to, and capable of love and the possibility of long-term commitments. In fact, meaningful connection is imperative. There are many ways of creating and sustaining alternative relationships as long as all parties are really secure with themselves, know who they are and what they want, are extremely open, honest, and communicative, and are safe and sane. I know it's a lot to ask and honestly, it's hard to find. But I'm patient (except when I'm not). I'd rather be alone than enter into anything that does not meet these basic criteria.

I currently have one lover who fits the bill and I adore her. Just having someone in my life who shares similar values and ethics, and can practice them with me, feeds my soul.

In general, I find myself with no lack of suitors but most of them are not poly-minded. When I bring it up, one of two things happens: 1) They cut and run 2) They decide they like me so much that maybe they would be willing to consider it. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and space to evolve, but this is often disastrous because what usually happens is that this person is not really okay with it, is actually hoping that I'll change my mind and make them my one and only, and people get hurt. Another thing that happens is that they will keep me as an option until someone else comes along who suits their relationship style better. You know what? That hurts my feelings! Just because I'm non-monogamous does not mean I don't have feelings. And ya know --- I'm not here to convince anyone of anything. I just want to be met on equal ground.

So, there's my nutshell introduction. Pleased to meet you! <insert curtsey>
xo